Dear Complaint Department,
I hate everything. I fucking hate you. If you're reading this...I hate you, your guts, your toothbrush, your favorite kind of bread, the ground you walk on, and God for burdening me with the thought of you and all of the things I didn't and fail to mention.
I hate when you say "FAIL" when you spot somebody making the slightest error.
I hate that everyone likes using the term "viral" for a video on the internet that's very popular.
I hate compound words. I learned a new one today-"staycations." Reading that made me punch my own arm. At 65% power.
I hate hearing about Portland, OR. I heard you the first time you told me how rad it is.
I hate that you have terms for everything.
I hate Twitter.
I hate that every article, video, photo, advertisement, etc. on the internet has a little text box, or "like" button, that now gives everyone the opportunity to give their input.
I hate that people actually like to get other people's opinions.
I hate that so many people express their opinion to get other peoples' opinions about their opinion. I hate those of you that do so already knowing specifically who you're going to piss off, and knowing that you're going to have something to argue about-because its something to do. Because its something other people aren't necessarily going to read(fingers crossed! Let's hope they read it and learn a little something about your view on whatever/whoever made a silly speech--because you're 20-something now and feel the need to give your useless input in...politics), but they'll see that you posted something about 23 minutes ago-by Boise Junction, and they'll get a chance to see that new photo of you.
I hate that everyone has got a friend that's a fucking photographer.
I hate that everyone thinks they're a gourmet chef because they worked part time in the kitchen at that all-organic vegan cafe. Or you worked on a line scooping and plopping(in your opinion "the best____ you EVER tasted") meat/beans/guacamole/whatever on burritos. I don't think its cute when you say "I make the BEST grilled cheeeeez." Almost anyone can follow a recipe, it so fucking! frustrating to know that not everyone is successful.
I hate that every young woman I know thinks they're an artist because they painted a RAD pattern on someone's arm when they were on ecstasy at Burning Man, or took an obscure(I hate that word) picture of an alleyway in downtown Boise or Portland...or Seattle(Typically the weather will be overcast).
I hate the Boise Co-op.
I hate your fixed-gear bikes. I hate that you call it a "fixie."
I hate Facebook. I don't believe that you personally know all 300-600 people on your list of "friends".
I hate that you think everyone wants to know exactly where you are every second of the day. If I had a penny for every time I read that somebody "just checked-in at Mulligan's" I'd have a large pickle jar full of pennies. I hate that you listened to a Minus the Bear/Pedro the Lion/As Tall As Lions album and felt you needed to share that information with everyone. I hate Minus the Bear.
I hate that everyone in the free world has a fucking blog. I hate how much you love to use the word "hypocrite."
I hate those of you that take photos of your food that you ordered at a restaurant that serves food of another culture. I've seen more photos of sushi, gyros, and bowls of noodle soup than all the photos of you at the beach on the Oregon coast. That's a lot of fucking sushi.
I hate hearing about when you spent time "on the big island" or any island for that matter. I don't care about how awesome the weed is there.
I hate when you correct me when I say "concert" instead of "show."
01/25/2012
I thought I'd give the blogging thing a try. I hate it.
...I like it a little bit.
